Position title: Vacation Manager
Job requirements:
- Daily slathering of two slippery children with SPF 50 sunscreen at two hour intervals throughout the day (extra if children are in water). Daily bonus paid if neither child develops any sunburn.
- Managing the contents of beach bag and diaper bag, as in constantly knowing what is in both bags, where all items are located within bags, and what needs to be replenished.
- Frequent trips to obtain forgotten camera, "nice fresh fresh juice", towels, sunglasses forgotten in the car from the night before, etc. etc. etc.
- Getting in very cold pool water to catch jumping child. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Oh, and repeat.
- Preparing baby food menu for each day. Includes obtaining food and finding a way to serve it at a tolerable temperature.
- Building sandcastles which includes chasing away crabs from inhabiting freshly built sandcastles.
- Bathing and dressing slippery, sunscreen covered children each night.
- Running child to the bathroom from the point most far away from bathroom while chanting, "Hold it. Hold it. Hold it."
- Butt wiping.
- Retrieval of all meals not eaten in a restaurant.
- Carrying all beach materials (umbrella, beach blanket, towels, cover-ups, beach bag, sand toys, cooler, book, beach chair, jogging stroller, tent, etc.) to and from the beach each day.
- Confronting neighboring hotel room occupants who happen to listen to the preview channel for 4 hours straight at the highest volume possible.
Qualifications:
- Endless patience.
- True love for children.
- No allergies to sunscreen ingredients.
- Strength of a pack mule to carry multiple heavy things at a time.
Anyone? Anyone? Not that I'm complaining because I'm having a great time; but it sure would be nice. . .
